When I read this draft title and I suddenly wanted to know is there a test for that. I got body neutral & I am doing good. Also I talked about this topic in my autumn update and it was there already....been a month and there is a progress.
I think that it's a topic that is really popular right now...I mean there are so, so many people who talk about it. One of the best person's to talk about it or maybe the closest to me is Madli, who was a Estonian model. Also Tallila & Danielle. At first I used to think that ugh it is so over talked about topic, but then..
I vlog for my greatest friend(s) and so, so, so darn often I notice that I start my clips like "Ugh sorry I look disgusting I am sorry" and then after doing it so often I realised that I don't have no idea why I say it because I would never say it to my friend or somebody that you look bad...Why do we try to always look or be our best? Like isn't it obvious that when we have woken up you can't be shining and looking your best?
The same is when I look at myself from the mirror...I think I saw a picture of myself that made me smile lastly in September (my last body pic was in 22.sept)...and now I am in that faze that when I look at myself I literally want to cry and I hate-hate-hate everything that I see. About a week or so ago, I said to my friend that "gosh, I hate myself and my body and why the effff do I have to look like an elephant" And that person looked at me and said "what? Please never say that to yourself never again, you look amazing just the way are"
*now as I'm writing it again about month later it even hurts me to read it how I have written in, but I am going to leave it because of how emotions work*
So now I've started to work out again and realised that I keep on pushing myself and I keep bringing myself down for not having the ass, the ab line (11 line as I just got to know) but why do I do that? Why can't I just accept my body the way it is? Because forever and always there will be something, some little stupid thing that won't make us happy. Why do we always have to find something that doesn't satisfy us?
I mean I've certainly started accepting my body more and maybe doing things that bring me anxiety (not in a bad way) but like wearing shorts and sports bra at home or standing in my underwear in front of the mirror-- something as simple as that can help to boost your confidence. Also one thing...you can't compare yourself all. the. time! I do it so often and not even with celebrities but with real people...like my closest friends. Like with K, we went to spa and I think for few days I was ready to hide myself from people. And then I heard some B's stories and I was really sad of how I felt in my body...like why can others just for example stand in front of a guy and just be there? But when I do it...I feel like I want to put every blanket on me in this world. Even though right now I am really lucky with a person next to me, because I always get little comments of how I don't look bad, how my bum is looking good or ooh have look who's working their biceps.
And with it all I think I hit my rock bottom...With my body, thoughts, face...everything. I started doing more intense workouts but for the reason that...I've always thought I am too weak...Turns out I am not if I want to I can do it. Also started making them reallyyyy long...like 2 hour workouts per day? Which is going to kill your body if you move anyway and when you are not athlete. Doing 45 minutes great workout is better then just pumping 2 hours. + now I've started walking even mooore, I am becoming more and more that person who is like "We can walk there"
But I started slooowly picking myself up...realising it is my body and I need to take care of it and pamper it the same way I do with my face, when there is a spot I am going to treat it... I think it is sometimes so easy to forget that we are living in our body and we can only control it, something is off do it and why does it bother you and why is it off. We should not compare ourselves to anybody...because you never know what goes on behind their walls...And we should not feel guilty when we have busy week or weeks and we don't have the time to move...because sleep is more often then some ab line.
You should be active and move yourself because you want to...because of the feeling it gives you and the energy it gives you...and look at your body with smile and be proud of it. Think that some people would kill for your body and they are really, really jealous for it. And if you really want to change it start doing small things...even a long walk is light workout and it let's you stay stable, start eating more healthily, make your own food, I think it is one really important thing. I know it is easy to crab something outside but when you make it you know exactly what is in it and how it tastes and so one.....All these little things...you just become healthier...but doing it all for a reason that you have to and there is no other way..If I won't I am ugly- so, so wrong and it will burn you. It all starts from our minds, if we have the right mindset there everything else will come. And when you surround yourself with supportive people (but don't always wait for compliments). But you just got to learn how to love yourself and it all comes from that! Self love is the biggest love we need in our lives.
When was the last time you woke and smiled to yourself?
When was the last time you stood in front of a mirror and thought you are beautiful the way you are?
When was the last time you didn't think of something you want to change about yourself?
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